The Value of Networking

I often say: “You don’t know the answer, but your network does.”

The value of networking has never been about how many people you know or how many numbers you have saved in your phone. The relationships that have lasted longest and helped me most never started as an exchange of favors.

Mr. T., Founder of a big retail company in Vietnam, is one of the clearest examples I can think of.

He once introduced me to someone he thought highly of and suggested my company could consider getting to know. Some time later, while I was in a meeting, he called me several times in a row. When I called back, he told me he had just learned that the person he’d recommended lacked integrity. Since he was the one who made the introduction, he felt responsible for his words, and he wanted to withdraw his recommendation.

It was a small moment in the many years we have worked together. But it says a lot about what makes a relationship truly valuable.

When trust is built over time and rests on shared values, many things become simple. When he says, “I’ll pass on this one,” I understand and let it go, no explanation needed. When I call and say, “Could you help me with something?”, if he agrees, he gives it his full time and attention. And I have always told him the same: whenever he needs anything, I’m there.

In my early years of finding Newing, he was my mentor. Even in difficult times, when he was extremely busy, I could ask for thirty minutes and he would always make the time. To this day, I still send him an update every quarter. We may only see each other in person once or twice a year, but frequency no longer matters. The relationship is still there.

Experiences like these shaped my own definition of a valuable network: relationships built on shared values and trust tested over time, where both people help each other grow, in work and in life.

Why these relationships are worth nurturing

The longer I work, the clearer one thing becomes: if you want to do something big and achieve breakthrough results, you need the strength and wisdom of many people. However capable you are, it is very hard to do it alone.

At first, I just wanted to work with people better than me so I could learn from them. Over time, I realized that no one is good at everything. I might be strong at generating ideas, but for many other things I need people who are better than I am. Someone may understand the market deeply yet need a fresh perspective on people, technology, or finance. Big challenges almost always require collective strength: the combined knowledge, experience, and resources of many people.

To bring more people on board, we need to enroll them to join us. I don’t believe money or power can achieve that in a lasting way. The foundation is their trust. When people trust you, you earn influence. And the more people who choose to walk alongside you, the greater your opportunity to take on bigger challenges and achieve truly breakthrough results.

Knowing a lot of people doesn’t necessarily mean they will trust or support you. But once you have built a lasting network, you can draw on the resources, experience, capital, and wisdom of the people around you when it matters. If my company needs advice on an issue, I can call Mr. T. and ask for an hour of his time. When I organize a community event with international guests, people accept because they trust it is serious, worthwhile, and does not serve any personal interest, including one’s own. For people of standing, reputation matters more than money, so they are very careful about whom they associate their name with.

Principles I’ve learned

Across most of my relationships, I hold on to a few simple principles.

The first is to be genuine. I once asked my husband what matters most when working with people who are seen as “the sharks among sharks.” He answered immediately: “Be real.” I agree. People who have been through a great deal in business and in life can quickly tell when you are putting on a front, pretending, or playing games. Play games with them, and they will play games with you. So when I don’t understand something, I say so. When I disagree, I say that too.

The second is to stand for the shared interest rather than any individual’s. When still at former company, there were times I debated former boss quite openly and went against what some people wanted. In the short term, that can create conflict. In the long run, once people understand that your intention is what’s best for the organization, differences of opinion don’t damage the relationship. Often, they earn you more respect. And when you don’t have to bend yourself to anyone, you can maintain good relationships with many sides at once.

The third is to give before thinking about what you’ll get back. If I can help someone with a connection, a piece of advice, or a resource I have, I usually try to. Not because they must repay the favor someday. If every relationship runs on “I give you this, so you owe me that,” it won’t go far. I never approached Mr. T. to borrow money or ask for anything, and I have never owed him an opportunity. Giving costs you very little, so don’t keep score too closely. When you work for the community sincerely, you attract others who want to do the same. What’s interesting is that once you earn someone’s trust, you often earn the trust of their network too. I’m close with a professor at an international business school, and now whenever someone in academia wants to come to Vietnam, he tends to tell them to reach out to me. That’s how a network grows, naturally.

Being genuine also filters your network over time. People who share your values stay; others drift away. You attract people like yourself. Those driven by ego and pride tend to end up surrounded by flatterers.

The challenges of maintaining relationships

My biggest challenge has been setting boundaries. There were periods when I gave so much that I ran out of energy. My former boss once asked me why I spent myself that way, after seeing me work all day and then go home to spend the evening on the phone with a friend’s daughter who was going through a hard time. Give too much, and eventually your battery runs dry, and both you and your family pay the price.

Over time, I learned to be more selective and more disciplined about how I spend my time across work, myself, and my family. I still know many people, but I only see a small circle regularly.

The way you network also shifts with each stage of your career. In my early years, I reached out much more actively and was clear about what I could offer. As you build up enough, the value of what you bring to the table rises, and people start coming to you.

A note to the Mekong team

The “currency” of networking is your own reputation, capability, expertise, and relationships. If you work for a well-known and respected company, you already have access to a highly valuable currency. However, that currency belongs to the company.

The question is how to tell the two apart, and how to build a currency of your own.

People first knew me through Mekong Capital too. But how I maintain those relationships afterward is personal and my own efforts.

I always remind myself and my team that a company’s measures are only one reference point. Titles, authority, and status are things an organization gives you. Without building real capability, it’s easy to overestimate your own strength. When you leave, people will still reach out for the first few months because of the name. After that, what remains is your real value. When there’s no longer an organization behind you and people still seek you out and trust you, that’s when you know you’re on solid ground.

One more thing: don’t network too targeted. Having a clear goal matters, but if you only connect with people who serve the deal in front of you, your currency won’t grow, and the other person will easily sense your agenda.

In the end, it all comes back to one question: do you truly want to do something bigger than yourself? If so, you will need many people, and they will only walk with you if they believe in who you are.

Do you truly want to do something bigger than yourself? If so, you will need many people, and they will only walk with you if they believe in who you are.